On Beauty & Being Here

"Beauty brings copies of itself into being."

“Beauty brings copies of itself into being. It makes us draw it, take photographs of it, or describe it to other people… Although very great cultural outcomes such as the Iliad or the Mona Lisa or the idea of distribution arise out of the requirement beauty places on us to replicate, the simplest manifestation is the everyday fact of staring. The first flash of the bird incites the desire to duplicate not by translating the glimpsed image into a drawing or a poem or a photograph but simply by continuing to see her five seconds, twenty-five seconds, forty-five seconds later - as long as the bird is there to be beheld.”

_ Elaine Scarry, On Beauty and Being Just

La Luna y Sol en oposición, 3/13/25. My neighborhood view of a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse. Glorious.

Virginia is home to some of the most beautiful people on Earth. Living expressions of Nature’s divinity. I often marvel at these expressions of divinity while gazing at a face as it rests upside down from my perspective. Beyond the flashy Instagram reels and trending TikTok hot takes, in the actual work of esthetic care there is an alchemy generated between client and practitioner. Getting to see someone relax is like seeing a tulip blossom towards the sun after months of frost: their breath balances out, the jaw loosens, shoulders lower, a glow begins emanating from within.

One of my favorite memories from inside the treatment room unfolds with a one-time client. She has come in with her wife to celebrate their one-year marriage anniversary after six years of courtship; they are prepping for the following week, about to embark on a cross-country move towards freshly manifested career openings. It is a day of reflecting how far they have journeyed together while looking ahead at what they are excited to experience individually and with each other in continued partnership. The facial begins as they all do, I attune to her as she settles in and then I prepare to start a double cleanse while walking her through the steps of what to expect leading up to an analysis which will be followed by a proposed treatment plan in collaboration with her skin’s needs. I commence the opening movements where beyond the first introduction of touch with my palms laid facing up at the shoulders, the flow of product applied throughout the face and neck is never the same. Between six to eight clients per workday there is always variation. Each client arrives with a unique countenance and so my hands adjust to different facial structures accordingly. Sometimes it makes sense to open the experience at the forehead other times I start below the chin, always assessing how the skin responds to the initial pressure, friction, and the selected first cleanser. After a thoroughly worked in silky oil cleanser followed by a hot towel, this one-time client smiles as I begin to lather the second cleanser and then she asks me if skincare is my passion. I am often asked iterations of this question at one point or another while in service, usually I say yes and redirect towards the client. But this time the question lands so early in the service that the surprise of its arrival nudges me towards honesty beyond initial truth. I allow myself to consciously open and share the fullness of me – as succinctly as possible so we can get to a proper skin analysis – what I am actually passionate about is living. She gasps and smiles wider; I have surprised her back and pleasantly so. She then melts further into the chair and over the course of the facial proceeds to share back aspects of her driving motivators for being here, for staying alive, for cultivating presence, for growing deeper in love with her wife. It is one of my most cherished interactions from last summer, before the fall of it all, before winter crystalized where we are now.

Last Winter Solstice, a longtime client asked me how I was doing with the holidays around the corner and the continued countdown to inauguration. I told them that now more than ever I was committed to cultivating joy in my day-to-day. We both belonged – and still do – to a transatlantic heritage that had seen this circus come to town many times before throughout several centuries. We both believed there was still life to be lived and most importantly, that life was to be enjoyed no matter what. Weeks later, in the depths of winter’s darkness my resolve was being tested. In between services I found myself grappling with a spiraling sensation of futility around this work. What good was this labor while living directly under the specter of fascism? I had no answer for myself then. But it felt good to show up and so I did. It still feels good to show up now and so I do. I enjoy being in the treatment room because there is no veil between the work, my values, my history and my many interests. In a facial service these intrinsic elements all coalesce and flow through me, buoying my offering of care, enlivening me when I am tired but need to be present because a quality facial cannot be performed absentmindedly. This truth comes out in the work regardless of whether or not I say it. Clients can feel it in my touch even through gloved hands. They can hear it in my voice even as I wear a mask. While some may interpret it as a passion for the work, what they are actually feeling is a passion for being here on Earth – my home and theirs too.

I first procured a license to practice esthetics at age 21, a season of life when I did not yet understand what I intuit now at 31: resting in peace while alive is a precursor to resting in peace after passing over. As a result of this perspective, I now approach the esthetic trade in a way that requires me to strive toward seeing myself rendered in all my humanity and to nurture myself accordingly along this chosen path. The experience of tending to another’s beauty brings me back to my own light and therefore to my own shadows, again and again. After several seasons spent sampling other ways of being, I returned to this work in the Winter of 2023. Two years later, the practice of caring for others via this form of labor still calls to me and so I continue to answer.

On this Spring Equinox I have remembered myself once more. There is value in choosing to do labor that centers the wellbeing of others. Especially now, when just across the Potomac hatred is wielded as a blunt tool of statecraft. It is a gift of the Spirit to engage in labor that celebrates each individual’s light. Especially now, when just across the Potomac ignorance and conformity are valued over enlightenment and plurality. I clock in and I get to watch face after face bloom. The client arrives and their skin does all the talking, it tells what the vessel needs during that session in response to what it has experienced since its last visit. Attune, listen, cleanse. Slough off epithelial cells, extract sebaceous filaments, massage out tightened masseters, encourage lymphatic flow, soften fascial adhesions, soothe inflammation, oxygenate the skin, support dermal fibroblasts, activate pressure points. Re-attune, reconnect, repeat. I clock out and take the day’s inspiration with me beyond the treatment room, into a life where day after day I experience my own beauty rendered in light and shadow, blooming too.